Language Problems

The Spanish speaking world needs to get together. I have recently discovered that in Argentina (and in Uruguay, for that matter) the "LL" that Spanish speakers love to sprinkle generously through their words does not make the same sound as it does in the rest of the Spanish-speaking world. I learned in Mexico that when you see 2 'L's, you make a 'y' sound. Why? I don't know. That's the way it is. But not here.
Here, you make a "j" sound, as in "'J'ust a minute, I have to relearn how to pronounce this word."

Let's say you make the "y" sound, like I do. Do people realize it's just a different dialect and give you the benefit of the doubt? NO. They look at you like you are a Martian.
I know this Martian look well, as I have been getting it a lot lately. Another situation I can't get comfortable with involves restaurants. It is popular here to not have menus. They don't even have a chalkboard with specials. The waitress just comes to your table and asks what you want.
You say, 'I don't know, what do you have?' and she says, 'whatever you want.'
Really? Mac & Cheese and a Peanut Butter sandwich? No. Now, if I had enough cultural experience to have any idea what would be on a normal Argentine menu, this wouldn't be so difficult. But, I can't even make the correct sounds when the letters arrive on my tongue, so I stare blankly at the waitress, shrug my shoulders, and point vaguely at another table. She brings whatever they serve Martians in this country.