Johnny vs. Saucy Jack

by Anna

There are only two reasons that I should ever write about movies; I am neither a skilled nor authoritative movie reviewer. If I see a lesser-known movie that I want others to see (Hedwig & the Angry Inch, for example) OR if I have a fundamental problem with a movie and just need to complain about it, I may be known to bang a little something out. The latter reason drives this piece. I had two big beefs with the 2001 Jack the Ripper thriller, From Hell, starring Johnny Depp and Heather Graham.

The first is the way they chose to mix facts, theories and fiction. The real story of Jack the Ripper is scary and intriguing because so little is known. A crazy Hannibal Lector type crept around Victorian London tearing up women, leaving cryptic, taunting messages for the police in his wake . And that’s pretty much all anyone knows for sure. The movie takes one of many theories surrounding the mystery and presents it as fact. It wants to be an historical horror film. But what makes the real story so scary is the fact that it remains unsolved. The movie, on the other hand, fingers someone as Jack the Ripper and shows him getting his just desserts. No! Everyone knows that “I’m having an old friend for dinner” is a great ending to Silence of the Lambs. And why? Because he’s still out there!

Beef #2 is the accents. Everyone knows Johnny Depp and Heather Graham, among others, are Americans. Acting is a competitive industry where hundreds of people audition for single roles. Can’t the moviemakers pick someone who sounds the part rather than paying the gianormous bucks for the big names and dialect coaches? I just didn’t believe ol’ Johnny’s from Souf London, yeah? I’m not an accent snob, but these Yanks were performing alongside of born and bred British actors and the difference was glaring. England’s got actors to spare- take pity on my ears and put them in your movies.

Overall it was just quite bad. Don’t get me wrong, I love Johnny Depp but the girls get picked off predictably and his opiate fueled premonitions are just dumb. I’m not so disgruntled that I’m going to send anthrax to 20th Century Fox or anything, but I am very glad I rented this movie for free from the public library.