Really, They're Just Having Fun

by Stephanie Anderson

When I tell people where I went to school, the response is often, "Is that one of the local community colleges?" No more. Thanks to the Greek system and all of its beautiful traditions, my alma mater will have something to claim besides that one time, back in the nineties, we had a decent basketball player. Now I can look forward to hearing, "Oh, isn't that the school where they torture barnyard animals?"

To me it is comical that a nation at war would be so suddenly swept by the story of some boys and a pig, especially when this is not unusual. Could the goat stories possibly be true? Was Animal House that far off? Have we actually believed that fraternity houses are plush locales where gentlemen sip brandy and discuss politics? Apparently yes, because America has brought out their charming face of shock at the discovery of a drunk pig.

Investigative journalism is not needed to see that this reaction is ludicrous. How many men and women reading American papers participated in such a stunt themselves? More importantly, how many men and women chose to be victims of such abuse?

I'm going to come out and say it. I hope you're sitting down. The movies are true. Fraternities (and sororities) at many universities abuse more than just animals. Fret not, these "abuses" are usually clever. Such as forcing recruits to consume the whole frats' weekly alcohol allotment while bathing in Tabasco sauce. Or along the themes of the animal kingdom, having a "pledge" dress in a cow suit and crawl on his hands and knees in front of the frat house eating grass until he vomits. In interest of fitness, girls will be asked to come to a sorority "party" dressed in swimsuits so that their "sisters" can use magic markers to circle the places on their bodies where there is too much fat.

But hazing is illegal, thank goodness, at the aforementioned school, and in most chapters nation wide. That's a relief. But wait, isn't abusing animals also in violation of many laws? Hmmm...
Many fraternities and sororities treat their members with respect and friendship, but to pretend we don't know that hazing exists is ridiculous. Before you can pay people to be your friends, you have to make sure they're worth the money.

Yes, I feel sorry for this tortured animal. But realizing that thousands of pigs are butchered everyday, I'll get over it. More appalling is the stupid kids that choose to bring this kind of abuse upon themselves. Instead of being outraged about a system that allows for such atrocities, Americans will simply shake their heads in disgust at one example of its outcome. Universities and Alumni, those providing forum and support for these twisted Greek organizations, will be seen as the torchbearers of justice for seeking retribution from a bunch of stupid frat boys who poured booze into a pig.