Attack of the Clones

by Stephanie Anderson

People waited in line for weeks to see the first midnight showings of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. For the Thursday night debut of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones, theatres were only half full of people that had nothing else to do. Don't worry, George Lucas will still make a cent or two, but this release was definitely not the frenzy of Chewbacca-costumed fans that attended the first.

There are a number of reasons to explain this lackluster opening. Reason number one is named Jar Jar Binks. You cannot annoy people to such an extreme in the first movie and then expect them to rush out and see the sequel. The second reason is probably the lovey-dovey plot. When the majority of your fan base is still trying to pick off the remaining ear glue from the last Trekkie Convention, it is hard to sell a romance-based storyline. Thirdly, it did not slip by unnoticed that the movie is being released a year later than promised. It is hard to maintain support without reliable release dates. If you don't believe me now, I will scoff this Winter when theatres are once again packed for the second Lord of the Rings. Finally, the Lucas Films marketing department was definitely asleep for the past few months. America's ADD-diagnosed majority needs to see more than kissing in a preview. Fight scenes, chases, light sabers... these things sell action movies- not to mention action figures, action toys, and action gear. Kids need to be swatting their parents with buzzing plastic light sabers while begging to see the movie, not just whining while tucking Princess Amidala flowers in their hair.

The love story is the central theme, including typical Hollywood phrases that leave you groaning because no matter what galaxy you are from, people do not say things like "My heart breaks each day I gaze into your stormy eyes and am forced to realize the sands of time must keep us apart." Along with this sort of gripping dialogue, the main device in furthering the tale of love is Natalie Portman in a wide array of revealing outfits, which conveniently become more revealing when she is attacked by furry aliens.

Despite liberal nakedness, Episode 2 is no match for the Star Wars of old. It seems that Mr. Lucas has gotten tangled up in trying to tell a long, overly detailed story. Much of the film is spent trying to introduce various alliances and characters. This is tedious, except for the points at which you realize, Oh! That's how the evil emperor will get power! or Hey! That's the bounty hunter that captures Han Solo!. Really, we all just want to know how it fits into the REAL Star Wars. Due to so much explaining and traveling between planets to include all necessary characters, there is not as much action as a good Star Wars fan would like.

Plot complexities aside, Attack of the Clones is certainly an improvement over the first installment. Though they were not the selling point, the film does contain some great races and chases. The creators get a little carried away with showing off their computer skills, but it looks cool. The choicest scene is the final execution, pitting man against crazy space creature. The idea was clearly ripped off from Gladiator, but it worked for Russell Crowe.

Yoda is a key player in Episode 2. You have been greatly deceived if you thought that someone so short would not be a rockstar with a light saber. If his grammatically incorrect proverbs were not enough to hook you in the past, Yoda's fighting skills will summon your allegiance. There is a fair sprinkling of fights throughout the film, though Yoda only appears in one. And, don't worry, they still do you the courtesy of color-coding light sabers and laser guns- green and blue for the good guys, red for the bad.

Attack of the Clones, though the title is very deceptive regarding actual movie content, is worth viewing. The new characters are interesting, and thankfully Jar Jar has an extremely limited role. The bridge between the old and the new becomes much clearer, even though Anakin's voice will have to drop a couple more octaves in the next movie to reach that of James Earl Jones.