Name Games

We have been home almost a month and I have spent most of that time trying to legally change my name.

This ordeal involved half-a-day at the social security office in Anchorage-- which is a 4.5 hour drive from my home. A very long wait to turn in an already completed form and a copy of my marriage certificate was a terrifying window into the faults of our social security system. I strongly recommend that you avoid needing Social Security to work for you-- they can't even get through a full day's worth of customers: the office closes giving out numbers to stand in line at 3pm so that they can spend until 5pm working through people they have already had waiting all day. The irony that one needs to take a day off of work in order to do any business at social security was not lost on me, and the smile that created got me through my relatively short 3-hour wait.

Other joys of name changing include making lots of copies of your marriage certificate and driver's license, filling out multiple W-9s, and doing a scavenger hunt for a fax machine. Who still uses fax machines? Well, Delta Airlines, for one. Knowing this made me less comfortable flying on their aircraft: do they use GPS, or are they still fully reliant on compasses and paper maps for navigation?

Forrest and I decided that while we were having so much fun with bureaucracy and paperwork, we might as well try to get healthcare. We applied for insurance in the Affordable Care Act's healthcare marketplace and found that the most minimal coverage will cost us $760/month. That is over $9000 per year for a high deductible plan for two young healthy people without kids. Not really "affordable."  We have decided to "opt out" and try a medi-share plan that requires an affirmation of religious affiliation. You must believe in Jesus and you can't smoke, do heroine, or have hoards of children out of wedlock. It's a more reasonable $150/month-- and you get an additional discount for being thin.  We are now exempt from paying the federal government a penalty fee for not signing up for Obamacare, but we lose the "privilege" of saving money for our own healthcare costs and are ineligible for a Health Savings Account. Why would it make sense for anyone to ever be ineligible for healthcare savings? But then, why would anyone ask "why" in reference to the bureaucracies of the federal government? This "bible insurance" seems a little avant garde, but the numbers make a lot more sense and Forrest and I are familiar with risk.

The paperwork of marriage is a little less fun than the traveling around the world part, but it's nice to be home. Now I must get back to paying for copies and standing in lines.