Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Girls do NOT kick ass with their hair Down

I have seen a couple movies lately with cool heroines. However, Hollywood insists on laboring under the delusion that anyone could fight or labor successfully with their hair in their eyes.
I've had long hair since I was six and my mother issued some kind of biblical decree that I could not cut it. I tested this rule at sixteen and though I wasn't blinded and no coliseums fell on me, I did suffer the serious wrath of Cathy Anderson. So, for almost a quarter century, I have been employing different techniques to keep my hair out of my way. If you want to accomplish anything in life, I have discovered that while you need personal drive and a good marketing team, you also need your hair pulled back.
Hollywood likes to bend the truth for sales, and this isn't the first or last time this pet peeve will bug me. At least Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, is realistically representing women the world over.
Pet peeves wouldn't be nearly so annoying if they didn't mock you in your everyday life. Last week, Steller Air had its most successful day yet: 6 whole flights. While my personal record is 31 flights in one day, that wasn't in my own plane, and not on floats, and not desperately wishing that this small attempt at a small business is going to work. To get six flights in when you are piloting, office managing, fueling, taking phone calls and loading it feels like 65. Halfway through my 3rd flight, my hair tie broke. I landed, jumped down on the float, loaded gear into the floats with my hair in my eyes and mouth. I helped my passengers into climb into the plane intermittently ripping strands of my hair out of the velcro on my raincoat. Ow.
I closed the doors, pulled up my waders, got in the water and leaned on the bows of the floats. I blew the hair out of my eyes after inhaling for a big shove to push the plane off the gravel. I looked around at pine trees and mountains, I breathed in the scent of Alaskan summer: pine, dirt, moss, and damp cinnamon. I was thigh-deep in a cold lake, surrounded by wilderness with my wet hands on the float of my plane. I looked up past the prop at the sky, letting my hair fall out of my face, and thanked God. Even without a hair tie, this still feels like kicking ass.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Idiot Taxes

I took off almost empty on Grewinck Lake today. It's the child of Grewinck Glacier which has receded a couple miles in the last hundred years and left an icy pool of water behind. I had to give the park service a bunch of documents proving I am authorized to operate an aircraft in the confines of Kachemak Bay State Park, where the glacial lake is located. I wonder if my driver's license and EMT card authorize me to take icebergs out of the lake to resell to tourists in town as Alaskan martini ice? If so, this might be a lucrative summer after all.
I waited to buy a plane ticket until the last minute. I have checked the price on it every week for the last month. It has gone up every week. I officially paid $200 more than needed by waiting. Some of you are thinking: "Pilots buy plane tickets?" Yes, we do. But I think that if the captain and the first officer have the fish for dinner and pass out and I have to take over and save the day, they will give me a $200 voucher for my next purchase, black out dates excluded.
Only in this unlikely event will I break even on spending way too much on a flight I have known for years I was going to take.
My life is not as foreign to these idiot taxes as I would like it to be. I pay a late fee on my phone bill every month. I buy new sunglasses every week because I can't find the old ones and am 'too cool' to wear one of those leash things. In the winter, I do the same with mittens. I bank at Wells Fargo, which charges more fees than a foreign ATM.
If I had hired an assistant (glorified adult babysitter) five years ago to manage the money under my mattress for me, I would have saved enough in Idiot Fees by now to pay him. So, next time I go to Grewinck, I am going to fill the float compartments with ice and test the market. I will put any earnings into an assistant salary fund. Not at Wells Fargo.